October 30, 2013 by wellcallmecrazy

What To Do When Your Life Falls Apart

Sometimes when things fall apart, they are actually falling into place (Photo credit: symphony of love)

I found this OH SO appropriate post by a contributor to The Daily Love…..a blog curated by Mastin Kipp. The author of this masterpiece is Kute Blackson, speaker and life coach and one of my newfound sources of inspiration! I hope you all find it as moving and touching as I do and that it helps…..even just a little bit…..through those tough days we all have.

When your life as you know it falls apart, it is a great blessing.

Give thanks.

In that moment realize that your life is actually falling together even though you might not see it.

If your life falls apart then you are ready for something bigger.

It falls apart because it was too small for who you are becoming.

It falls apart because there is something more that is seeking to express itself in and as your life.

It falls apart because what you were living is no longer in alignment with who you are.

It falls apart because life is letting you know that perhaps you have gotten too comfortable where you’re at and need to grow to the next level.

Life is change. Life is growth. Life is a cycle of Creation-Life-Destruction. Every birth is another form of death. And every death is another form of birth.

Often when things fall apart we become afraid, we panic, we resist and fight life. We hold on to what we know, even though it no longer works or serves us.

This only keeps you stuck.

Holding on to the old will not bring what is new. Resisting what is new will not transform or change what is old.

When life falls apart you can resist or fight, which ultimately only leads to suffering and struggle.

So, what do you do when your life as you know it falls apart?

Simply, LET GO!

Perhaps it’s a relationship, job, or a house.

Let Go! And Trust.

Trust that what no longer remains in your life is no longer meant to be there. And that the Uni-verse is just making room for what is more in alignment with your highest good.

When things fall apart, the Uni-verse is trying to make space for something greater.

When life as you know it stops working and falls apart this is the moment to let go of your ego, as it can only take you so far. This is the moment to let go of your ego’s attachment of how your life should be, and surrender.

In every crisis is an opportunity to let go of what is inauthentic and live with more integrity.

In every breakdown is the blessing of a breakthrough.

In every challenging situation is the gift to help your soul evolve and become who you were really meant to be.

So if your life as you know it is falling apart give thanks and…

LET GO!

Love.Now

Kute

October 13, 2013 by wellcallmecrazy

The Excuses Of Not Talking About Abuse……Because PART TWO

To Continue the conversation started in post yesterday……THE EXCUSES OF NOT TALKING ABOUT ABUSE…..BECAUSE let’s keep on talking.

We don’t talk about abuse as much as we should…..Because

Because nobody else is talking about it and I’ll feel like the only one
Because I don’t want anyone else to know my dirty secret
Because I didn’t think about talking about it until now
Because I am afraid
Because I don’t want to get low
Because it’s overwhelming….. there’s too much and if I start talking will I ever stop talking?
Because I want to still be me and not a victim
Because I don’t want people feeling sorry for me
Because I don’t want my batterer or abuser to win by letting it affect my life now
Because I’ve moved on and don’t want to go back
Because I don’t want counseling…..only weak people need counseling
Because I might get so angry that I would do something I’ll regret
Because I don’t want to think about it or remember the details
Because I let it happen…..I didn’t stop it
Because people will think I’m unlovable
Because people will think I’m promiscuous
Because I don’t know what words to say…..I don’t know where to start
Because my abuser is still alive and I couldn’t face having to go to court
Because my partner would literally kill my abuser
Because I am too busy and I don’t have time to sort it all out and get on with the rest of my commitments
Because people are too busy to listen
Because people have their own problems…..they don’t want to hear mine
Because the last time I talked about it I wasn’t helped

Let’s end the silence. Talk about abuse. Instead of propagating Post Traumatic Stress…..let’s start a movement of Post Traumatic Growth!

Stop Family Violence! (Photo credit: Krisztina Tordai)

Domestic Abuse: Don’t They Know Better? (nicole8marsh.wordpress.com)
Recognizing the Signs of Domestic Violence (psychcentral.com)
I am broken… (hurtarmywife.wordpress.com)
Dear Mrs Social Worker. (myjourneydowntheroadlesstravelled.wordpress.com)
But He Has Never Actually Hit Me… (manysmallvoices.wordpress.com)
Battered Wife Syndrome (marmarthunder.wordpress.com)

October 12, 2013 by wellcallmecrazy

The Excuses Of Not Talking About Abuse…..Because PART ONE

If we aren’t alone…..if staggering statistics clearly show that abuse is a worldwide problem that does not discriminate……affecting people of all races, gender, financial status, religion, sexual orientation, background, etc……then why don’t we talk about it more. Well…..Because

Because it’s difficult
Because of the repercussions
Because of what other people will think of us
Because I don’t want to hurt anybody
Because no-one will believe me
Because there is nothing they can do about it
Because I’m an adult now…..so i have moved on
Because I’m trying to forget it happened
Because it’s not a big deal…..I got over it
Because it happened a long time ago
Because the family would be torn apart
Because they will think I am crazy
Because I don’t want to be a burden
Because I will called a liar and labelled mentally ill
Because I feel embarrassed
Because I feel ashamed
Because it would upset my family, my children
Because it’s no big deal….nothing much happened anyway
Because nobody will do anything about it now
Because the abuser won’t be brought to justice….so what is the point
Because the facts in my head are a bit fuzzy so I don’t want to say anything that isn’t 100% true
Because everyone else seems to have it all together and i don’t want to stand out as the weak one
Because I don’t want to look like an attention seeker
Because I don’t want to draw attention to myself
Because I don’t like being vulnerable to me vulnerable means victim
Because I might get so low that I won’t be able to pull myself out of the black pit of depression

Let’s work on getting past the excuses and getting help. Let’s raise awareness to create change. Let’s end the silence on abuse.

Domestic abuse is NEVER okay. (tamsinhopkins.wordpress.com)
No room for excuses when it comes to abuse (velociriot.org)
It Doesn’t Matter When It Happened Or What Kind Of Sexual Assault It Was/Is (ssaitco.wordpress.com)

October 11, 2013 by wellcallmecrazy

The Priceless Gifts Of October!

Domestic Violence Awareness Month (Photo credit: U.S. Army Korea (Historical Image Archive))

Mental Health Awareness Ribbon (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Pink In Honor Of Breast Cancer Awareness Month (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hello my WordPress friends and family. I have not posted in longer than I had planned, but felt compelled to write tonight. It’s October…..a month of great significance in my life. First, there are many campaigns for awareness this month that are near and dear to my heart. October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. This past July, I had my third breast surgery for an annoying, uncomfortable, and somewhat disfiguring form of cancer commonly called DCIS. As cancer goes…..it is one of the “best” cancers to get as it is considered by most experts to be stage 0 and non-metastasizing in most cases. But is still surgery…….to my breast……which tends to mess with my head a bit as I happen to like my “girls” and am saddened each time a bit more of them is cut away. Ladies….and all gentlemen who love ladies…..spread the word! Get a mammogram and do your self exams. And if something seems wrong…..if you are bleeding from your nipples…..get it checked out because ignorance in this case in NOT bliss.

Next, October is Mental Health Awareness month…..another subject I am intimately familiar with. Official diagnosis on my records from respected psychiatrists list Dissociative Identity Disorder, Chronic Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Major Depressive Disorder, and Acute Anxiety. Full disclosure here…..I have not seen a psychiatrist for an independent evaluation since the release of the new DSM-V……so there would probably be a few more items added to my laundry list of diagnoses if I had.

October is also National Domestic Violence Awareness month. This particular cause is the closest to my heart of all. I used to say I am a survivor of domestic violence…..not anymore. Dare I say so boldly, I now consider myself a thriver. Yep, i still have challenges that affect my daily life as a result of the abuse I endured, but now I am not only functioning…..I am giving back. i completed my Domestic Violence Counselor certification at the end of July and got connected with a local women’s group that advocates for abuse victims. And I have to tell you……it has been a life changer for me. So many brave women come to me and say thank you for my help…..and the directors and non-profit staff members thank me and my reply to them is always the same. Your welcome, but the truth is You are saving My life. The volunteer work I am doing as a legal advocate at the county courthouse for those filing for protection orders and the community events where I get to speak to people and let them know about the shocking statistics surrounding this issue…..educating them and opening their eyes…..well this work has given me a purpose. Purpose is priceless! Purpose helps heal your wounded soul, empowers you, improves your self-esteem, and forbids you to isolate yourself. I will say it once more…..purpose is priceless. Purpose is saving me everyday…..giving me a reason to keep on going! So to those who thank me…..again all I can say is thank you! You are literally helping me save my life!

Finally, last month was Suicide Prevention Month. I have been down that dark, deep pit myself. I know the stigma and shame associated with it. I have felt the sting of being called selfish and attention seeking. I even admit that I still have dark days where the thought of ” i really wouldn’t mind if i went to sleep tonight and didn’t wake up” crosses my mind. But today…..I have better tools. Today….. I have better coping skills. Today…..I have a small bur growing support group of regular people who care in addition to the paid professionals that have been at my side for the past few years. Today…..I am doing okay. Today…..I can keep going

And on top of all that…..Monday is going to be my birthday. And this year…..this year I am going to celebrate it! Ah, the priceless gifts of October.