As Mothers Day approaches I find myself meditating on the thoughts and feelings associated with this occasion. There are mothers on this earth that will not get that phone call or card tomorrow. No child will wrap their arms around them and give them a kiss. Those who have literally lost their child. A mother who has buried her child. A mother who grieves at the great loss of her child. Whether the child had lived just a moment, or many decades, the loss still cuts deep and is palpable. The grieving process is different for all, and a process we honor. So to those mothers that have suffered this loss, I offer you my empathy and hopes for an end to your suffering. I offer to you the thought that your precious child, though not alive on this earth, is still alive in your heart and in spirit. I offer you permission to remember the beauty and grace that once small baby bestowed on your soul while in your arms. For in that memory, your right to a happy Mothers Day is held sacred . For just this day, take time to rejoice in the spirit of your child.
Then there are mothers whose child is indeed alive, but will not get that phone call nonetheless. Mothers who have a child in prison. Mothers who are in prison. Mothers of non verbal children. Mothers who find that their child is estranged. Mothers who have an acutely ill child, one who is brain injured or on life support. There are so many other scenarios, but all end with the same theme. These mothers will not get a card, a hug, or a kiss this Mothers Day. It is understandable that these circumstances can cause a mother to feel deep, searing pain on a day meant to celebrate motherhood.
I am one such mother. I acknowledge this pain and work to accept that these feelings of loss and grief are normal. Yet even as I work to understand my circumstances and emotions, I feel a great space in my heart opening up. I am filled with love. I am filled with hope. Overcome with a wave of gratitude, I turn my focus to memories of holding my babies in my arms. I remember the joy and pride of holding their hands, kissing their boo-boos, combing their hair. I realize that I was given a tremendous blessing by being their mom. And just for today, I resolve to direct my thoughts to loving memories of them. While my children and I are still alive, there is still hope. I will have a happy Mother’s Day and I pray for mothers worldwide to be able to find a way to experience this too. If you are a mother and are fortunate enough to get that hug, that card, or that call from your child saying “I Love You”, then I pray you cherish this moment just a little bit more than you otherwise would have. I hope that you hug your child just a little bit tighter, smile a little wider, and be conscious of the great blessing you have received in being their Mom.
To mothers the world over, I wish you a Happy Mothers Day. Where there is life, there is hope. Where life has ended, the spirit remains. Let love be your guide for today.