The irony of it all!

The Truth About Drugs

The Truth About Drugs (Photo credit: Thomas Hawk)


First, I apologize for being silent in the blogosphere as of late. I have recently experienced two dramatic life altering events that have sidelined my writing. More on that another time.


Second, I put a disclaimer to this post that I am spitting bullets and mad as hell right now. This is a highly unusual sensation for me. You see, as part of my mental illness i have compartmentalized many negative emotions and assigned them if you will to specific alters. CJ, me, I don’t get angry. At least, I haven’t in a long time. I let one of the alters handle that emotion, so that fact that i am feeling so pissed off right now is actually an encouraging sign in my recovery. Yay team!


So, let me get to the point. I have been on some form of opiate pain medication for a decade now…..not a pretty thing to admit. Specifically, for the last three years I have been taking morphine sulfate daily…..reducing my dosage from 240 mg a day to 15mg if and when needed. Yay team!


Well over the past three years I have saved the medication inserts that come with my rx……I don’t know why I do this, I just do. Today, when picking up my script and reviewing the insert I was struck by a very very big change. You see, for the past 35 months, the inserts have NEVER cautioned against not taking this medication if you were prescribed certain other medications. Of course it warned of the dangers of mixing alcohol with this opiate, and cautioned against taking other pain medicines, but for the first time in three years this insert read completely different. It now states in bold letters NOT to take this medication if you are also taking sodium oxybate or MAOI inhibitors under any circumstances.


What! Really! Are you kidding me! I was pumped full of both of those meds from 2004 up until just 18 short months ago.


Now you tell me it was dangerous! Now you tell me it could result in psychosis! Really! Just two short years ago my children went to my prescribing doctors and BEGGED them to stop giving me these meds, that they were making me worse not better. Sure, my sleep was finally regulated, but at the cost of my own fragile mind shattering even more.


Tsk Tsk! Hush! My children were shooed away like flies, told it was perfectly safe, and absolutely necessary for me to take.


And now this? I pulled out the past 35 months worth of inserts and double checked, just to make sure I was having a hallucination or imaginary thought. Sure enough…..35 months and no such warning.


The irony of it all!



15 thoughts on “The irony of it all!

  1. vwoopvwoop says:

    wow that is awful, medical negligence. i’m so sorry you experienced those awful reactions and were disbelieved. you *should* be mad as hell!
    it’s wonderful that you have worked so hard to decrease the medications going into your body and it sounds like you are so much the better for it.

  2. That is absolutely horrendous! Definitely go to your doctor, show him/her the inserts and complain loudly!

    • I did…..the response was “when we know better we do better.” Hard to argue with that, but I still feel a level of deep resentment that I am trying to get rid of. I recognize that one cause of deep suffering is the inability I have to accept things that just are. I fight internally constantly to try to change things I cannot. But I am working on it.

  3. epilepsymeandneurology says:

    o no! how awful. I really feel for you. I am really pleased that you managed to get off the stuff they were pumping you with. Also completely empathise about being mad as hell, I was pumped full of stuff and everyone thought i was completely stupid until I came off enough medication to start being able to think and learn! I am so pleased you are recovering!

  4. Ironic? Yes. Also, quite maddening. I’m so glad you’re getting to a more balanced place. You’ve been on quite a journey, it seems.
    Good for you!!

    • We are all on a journey, some more striking than others. I am just grateful that I am in a place in my life were I can share part of my journey and hoping it helps someone else in some small way. Your journey, and others, have been truly inspiring to me. Thank you.

  5. brazenblood says:

    Are you fucking kidding me! Yeah great reaction. Very bloody appropriate reaction. Man I am sorry, makes u wonder what was you and what was a drug reaction. Wonder if one could sue those “drug dealers” for damages? Oh we”re sorry we just only found out now…well all I can say is well done for keeping all those inserts and for reading them -I don’t but guess I should start. Sorry I didn’t mean to hijack your blog with my rant-on behalf of you. When you are seeing less red maybe thank your God or universe that you were made aware of it now. Never too late and if you are already taking less then you are going in the right direction! I hope the other 2 things that side swiped you are not very awful. We are all here for Ya x be safe šŸ™‚

    • I appreciate your comment! “Are you fucking kidding me!” Thank you! Couldn’t have said it better myself! It does make me wonder… much was “me” and how much the reaction to meds. But I can’t go back and change it… I have to keep reminding myself that I have to accept was has happened in order to relieve my suffering over it.

  6. That is utterly horrendous!! My heart goes out to you and your extremely valid anger. I can’t imagine how you must feel, I would be more than angry I would be ropeable! Our sanity and the fragility of a stable mind is one of the most difficult issues to cope with. Doubting ourselves, unable to trust our own thoughts.. Nothing else has shaken me in my life like that feeling has! How strange that you kept the inserts…(Might end up being evidence in a law suit, along with your children’s testimony!) Blessings to you!

  7. Wow… that is so wrong… I’m so sorry that you’ve had this experience.
    Though, at least you know now; it could have been so much worse..!

  8. WordsFallFromMyEyes says:

    Not mere irony, CallMe, utter outrageousness. I am really outraged for you – or with you, I guess.

    Your children, your poor children begging the doctors: hate to imagine that.

    I have been on Effexor since my attempts at self-murder 2011. I have launched into taking msyelf off it recently. I have been here & not here & having brain chills, feeling I might overbalance at work, feeling so sick, so weird – and of course, still working (I mean, WHO is going to pay the rent?). So with medications, warnings, lack of warnings and all things related to mental illness, you most sincerely have my heart in your direction.


  9. The doctor’s not the only one you should yell at. If you’re getting your meds from the same place, the pharmacist has a responsibility to check all of your meds, and discuss red flags. I’m so sorry you had to go through this.

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