So, my WordPress friends and family, I am facing a daunting problem. As reported in an earlier post this week, I was experiencing some severe mouth pain that I felt was connected to unpleasant memories and feelings. I actually was feeling better and thought I was out of the woods. But I am not. Today I was informed, and shown radiological proof that I have osteomyelitis in my jaw that is unresponsive to antibiotics. A portion of my lower jaw needs excision, removal and replacement with cadaver bone. And because of my artificial joints being highly susceptible to a migrating infection, this needs to happen quickly. Okay. Breathe.
Surgery is scheduled for next week on the condition that I obtain cardiovascular clearance, hematological oncology clearance, and orthopedic clearance in addition to the standard pre-surgery screenings. And it is a short work week here in the US due to Labor Day. Whew. On the bright side, since this is now a medically urgent problem and not a dental one, medicare health insurance will cover a large part of it.
Here is where I ask for much-needed help. In addition to the typical trepidation one feels when they face surgery, I have the added mental health terrors. Already, I am struggling to BE with my urges to dissociate and horrific combination flashback body memories of having my nose and mouth covered from childhood abuse. I have reached out to all my treating practitioners and my small…..okay teeny, tiny…..support system, but I am feeling very overwhelmed. So, I am asking all of you for your thoughts, prayers, advice, and good wishes because I believe very strongly in the power of collective thought energy. I thank you all in advance for your support and empathy.My usual resolve (which I have worked very hard at) is crumbling now. But I am trying to get back to a space of peace and acceptance. I will keep on going…..somehow.