The 8 People You Need In Your Life

I was directed by a reader to the following fabulous article by Jessica Hagy in Forbes magazine. After thoughtful consideration, I felt it was important and interesting enough to share. Naturally, I feel the urge to add my own personal nominees to the authors list and transform it to the Eight People You Need In Your Life. Sadly, I have yet to conquer my crazy need to take something great and try to make it even more comprehensive. That confession being stated, here are my own additions first (minus the illustrations) followed by Jessica’s article. 

The Lover:    

I truly hope that this one is self-explanatory….. This is where we all aspire to give and receive unconditional love and share pleasure. This is the voice of ecstasy.

The Confidant:

Someone who listens intently to all your hopes, joys, fears, failures, rants, gossip, etc. and STILL loves you. You need this person to experience unconditional acceptance. Work to show this person unconditional trust in return. This person is one of the most important people in your life and it is best if this person is NOT also your lover. The person who plays this role may change over the course of your life, but the role itself is a vital one for your happiness. This is the voice of support and belonging.

Jessica Hagy, Contributor

Using visuals to tell stories, jokes, and truths.

The 6 People You Need in Your Corner

Nothing incredible is accomplished alone. You need others to help you, and you need to help others. With the right team, you can form a web of connections to make the seemingly impossible practically inevitable.

The Instigator:

Someone who pushes you, who makes you think. Who motivates you to get up and go, and try, and make things happen. You want to keep this person energized, and enthusiastic. This is the voice of inspiration.

The Cheerleader:

This person is a huge fan, a strong supporter, and a rabid evangelist for you and your work. Work to make this person rewarded, to keep them engaged. This is the voice of motivation.

The Doubter:

This is the devil’s advocate, who asks the hard questions and sees problems before they arise. You need this person’s perspective. They are looking out for you, and want you to be as safe as you are successful. This is the voice of reason.

The Taskmaster:

This is the loud and belligerent voice that demands you gets things done. This person is the steward of momentum, making sure deadlines are met and goals are reached. This is the voice of progress.

The Connector:

This person can help you find new avenues and new allies. This person breaks through roadblocks into finds ways to make magic happen. You need this person to reach people and places you can’t. This is the voice of cooperation and community.

The Example:

This is your mentor, you hero, your North Star. This is the person who you seek to emulate. This is your guiding entity, someone whose presence acts as a constant reminder that you, too, can do amazing things. You want to make this person proud. This is the voice of true authority.

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20 thoughts on “The 8 People You Need In Your Life

  1. This is great! Thanks for sharing.

  2. Oops… forgot to say that I agree with your additions. Seems like the first 6 apply to a more ‘public’ life whereas the Lover & Confidant are more personal. I like.

  3. Thank you for stopping by my blog! This was a wonderful post…I just had to re-post!

  4. That was great ! I’m always a better student when there are illustrations included in the lesson ! 🙂

    • Thank you for your comment. The illustrations are great, but they are not mine. They are the work of the Forbes article author, Jessica Hagy. Just want to give credit where credit is due.

  5. Great post! Thank you for sharing. I was relating this article to the people in my life. Having support means everything.

  6. LizEccentric7 says:

    I needed this post today….a lot

  7. LizEccentric7 says:

    Question: How do I meet a person in each category? (not sarcastic) Seriously, I am horrible at picking positive peers that help and not hinder or do constant put downs to make themselves feel better.

    • UMMM one of the areas I am working on myself….my experience has led me to believe that I need to do two things better in order to attract the right people into my life. First one, set boundaries. Secondly, take my time when meeting new people, refer to first step, and proceed slowly. So far this has helped me quite a bit.

  8. WordsFallFromMyEyes says:

    Wow, quite an interesting read. I’m actually fairly isolated. I moved with my son from Perth WEST Australia to Melbourne, EAST Australia a few years back but I’ve been unwell (my video blog http://www.VodkaWasMyMuse.wordpress.com is all about me giving up alcohol) – and so, distracted with “life issues” I haven’t actually made any relationships. Well, that and the fact I’ve been through four jobs since we got here! But thing is, I do agree with you, and it has me reflect, and has me realise why, WHY WE MUST TRY and engage, because we need to be connected, and the thing I realise most now, at this
    LATE
    stage in my life, is, I DESERVE to be connected, to have these 8 people in my life, to be alive.

    I really appreciated this – and the diagrams. Thanks.

  9. LizEccentric7 says:

    @wellcallmecrazy – do you have a post on boundaries? I don’t know how to set them at all. Know nothing on the subject. Too many “fakes” and negative people who make me not feel good about myself. Think it is a common problem…..Glad I am not alone with this issue. Thanks. 🙂

    • No post on boundary setting yet, but you have definitely given me food for thought. You are most certainly not alone. I found an ancient book from the 1970’s written by Manuel Smith that does a great job of explaining why boundary setting is important and also difficult for some of us. It is called ” When I Say No I Feel Guilty”. Even though it was written almost 40 years ago, most of what he recommends is still very appropriate in our world today. You might enjoy its contents.

      • Well…if you decide to write the post, it would be a great post. I would delete the comment though – sometimes people hurry to steal ideas. Sad, but true.

  10. I completely agree with you adding “The Lover” and “The Confidant”. Right now, I am without the 2nd one … everyone I confide in has too much crossover in other areas; I would love to have a friend who could be totally objective and not have their opinions colored by other facets of his/her relationship with me. Your insights in adding those were spot on, and I really enjoyed the original article, as well. 🙂

    • Thank you. In the past, I tried to make one person fill the role of number 1,2,and 8 at the same time, with disastrous results. Experience has led me to believe that these roles should be filled by 8 different people in order for them to be truly effective. Thanks for your comment.

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